It never fails: Every time I'm over at the KO office, some issue of Opera News will catch my eye with a cover featuring outrageous sets or costumes that make you wonder, "Which opera could that be?" (Note: I don't get Opera News, myself, so I rely on the KO's office copies to keep me informed.)
Almost invariably, the outrageous cover will be a production from a European company, and usually from Germany or Switzerland. After all, Europeans are far more, uh... "continental" than we folk from "the colonies." They've had opera over there for over 500 years, so the old stage adage that "everything's been done" is probably the watchword of any company doing a new production that wants to be noticed. (After all, it got my attention on the Opera News cover.) My all-time favorite Opera News cover was one of a couple of characters singing in front of a giant, green Tyrannosaurus Rex dinosaur. It was so shocking, as a matter of fact, that I can't remember what opera it was, but I do remember it was done by some German house.
Now, I'm no expert by any means, but I can't think of any opera, ancient or modern, that calls for "giant green T. Rex situated upstage left." What? Are they doing an operatic version of the Saturday morning TV serial, Land of the Lost? "Marshall, Will, and Holly, on a routine expedition..." Heaven forbid! Nobody get the idea to do this! I hated that show! Dear Don, should some idiot ever write an opera based on LOTL--let's face it, when Jerry Springer is fair game, all bets are off!--and by some incredibly improbable circumstance the KO decides to do it, count me out! I'll not be seen on stage as a Sleestak singing "Sssssssss sssssssssss." (And, lest anyone ask, yes, I do know they're working on a movie adaptation. Yet another indelible sign of the eminent Apocalypse!)
Anyway, it was no surprise when my trolling of opera news on Google turned up this review of Zurich Opera's production of Handel's Rinaldo set not during the First Crusade but in an airport.
Yes, that's right, an airport. Why yes, of course! Why didn't I see the similarities between the goings-on at a busy aiport like Logan International in Boston and the eleventh-century siege of Jerusalem? It's so obvious!
Not! As if! Poor Handel. It's bad enough that his Messiah is almost invariably reduced to a single chorus sung during Christmas and Easter by choirs that have no tenors good enough to sing the high A on "And he shall reign for ever and ev---er" and a soprano section that can only dream of holding top-line F# for 9½ beats, little alone the following Gs. It's bad enough that modern performers cut recit after recit and maybe a few da capo arias from his operas and oratoria... when you can find modern performers even doing oratoria. No! Companies have bent and twisted his plots into creations that little pay homage to the original. (I'm pretty sure that the aforementioned dinosaur opera was a Handel opera, BTW.) Heaven forbid that a modern society that worships Wii and Xbox360--and, of course, golden circle ticket holders can afford PS3s--should have to sit through "long" productions (over an hour) of a bunch of old music--not a Les Paul in sight, even. We'd much rather get things over with so we can get home and watch our Tivo-ed episodes of Grey's Anatomy or Big Brother. Besides, the live human voice is neither live nor human anymore thanks to Cher and Ashlee Simpson. And even before Janet Jackson had her "wardrobe malfunction," networks regularly built delays from several seconds to minutes into their broadcasts of live events so that even "live" events aren't really live on TV anymore.
So we, as performers, as opera performers, have a problem: How to keep the attention of a public that sees ADHD manifestations to be at epidemic proportions alert and entertained for at least 2½ hours or more. Maybe we should only wear costumes of bright primary colors. Maybe we should learn staging that would exhaust Carroll Freeman. Maybe we should forego paying the big bucks for quality principals and focus on gee-whiz sets that are so complex they would give Bill Cheverton a migraine. (As a tech-lover, I have to say that all the stuff that the Zurich Opera's set does--from escalators and elevators to rotating scenes and opening scenery--would certainly keep me entertained.)
Or maybe we should try what Brian is doing by showing Pag alone, with no Cav next year: do really, really short operas. Menotti and Barber would love that; Phillip Glass wouldn't. Or, what about this? Do a Peter Jackson and chop long operas into originals and sequels. Will Scarpia rape Tosca? Will Rudolfo and Mimi live happily ever after? Look for Tosca II and Boheme: The Winter Comes in February!
Hey! I might have something there! People throw their whole lives away to watch the entire series of American Idol. They'll put off major surgeries, schedule early birthing, and tell the boss wanting them to work over on a project where to go. (I wonder if Don would admit that some chorister had turned him down because they just had to watch Idol lol!) And if we picked the right operas, we might be able to go through a whole season with just one, uhh... "production"? Save money on sets, costumes, and other things.
Or, perhaps, we should all pay our dues and join the local chapter of the Society for Creative Anachronism.
"Who are you?"
"A twelfth-century North Umberland knight. What are you?"
"A seventeenth-century French opera singer."
"Dude, how esoteric!"
Oh well, in ZO's defense, they did pick da man to conduct. William Christie is a great early music conductor. I've got some Rameau choral stuff that just rocks! thanks to him. And, who knows, maybe the Met will someday "resurrect the seminal and wildly successful Zurich Opera production of Rinaldo from the mid-2000s."
In the meantime, Don, do you know where Brian can get a giant inflatable T. Rex for the opening scene of Rigoletto?
Almost invariably, the outrageous cover will be a production from a European company, and usually from Germany or Switzerland. After all, Europeans are far more, uh... "continental" than we folk from "the colonies." They've had opera over there for over 500 years, so the old stage adage that "everything's been done" is probably the watchword of any company doing a new production that wants to be noticed. (After all, it got my attention on the Opera News cover.) My all-time favorite Opera News cover was one of a couple of characters singing in front of a giant, green Tyrannosaurus Rex dinosaur. It was so shocking, as a matter of fact, that I can't remember what opera it was, but I do remember it was done by some German house.
Now, I'm no expert by any means, but I can't think of any opera, ancient or modern, that calls for "giant green T. Rex situated upstage left." What? Are they doing an operatic version of the Saturday morning TV serial, Land of the Lost? "Marshall, Will, and Holly, on a routine expedition..." Heaven forbid! Nobody get the idea to do this! I hated that show! Dear Don, should some idiot ever write an opera based on LOTL--let's face it, when Jerry Springer is fair game, all bets are off!--and by some incredibly improbable circumstance the KO decides to do it, count me out! I'll not be seen on stage as a Sleestak singing "Sssssssss sssssssssss." (And, lest anyone ask, yes, I do know they're working on a movie adaptation. Yet another indelible sign of the eminent Apocalypse!)
Anyway, it was no surprise when my trolling of opera news on Google turned up this review of Zurich Opera's production of Handel's Rinaldo set not during the First Crusade but in an airport.
Yes, that's right, an airport. Why yes, of course! Why didn't I see the similarities between the goings-on at a busy aiport like Logan International in Boston and the eleventh-century siege of Jerusalem? It's so obvious!
Not! As if! Poor Handel. It's bad enough that his Messiah is almost invariably reduced to a single chorus sung during Christmas and Easter by choirs that have no tenors good enough to sing the high A on "And he shall reign for ever and ev---er" and a soprano section that can only dream of holding top-line F# for 9½ beats, little alone the following Gs. It's bad enough that modern performers cut recit after recit and maybe a few da capo arias from his operas and oratoria... when you can find modern performers even doing oratoria. No! Companies have bent and twisted his plots into creations that little pay homage to the original. (I'm pretty sure that the aforementioned dinosaur opera was a Handel opera, BTW.) Heaven forbid that a modern society that worships Wii and Xbox360--and, of course, golden circle ticket holders can afford PS3s--should have to sit through "long" productions (over an hour) of a bunch of old music--not a Les Paul in sight, even. We'd much rather get things over with so we can get home and watch our Tivo-ed episodes of Grey's Anatomy or Big Brother. Besides, the live human voice is neither live nor human anymore thanks to Cher and Ashlee Simpson. And even before Janet Jackson had her "wardrobe malfunction," networks regularly built delays from several seconds to minutes into their broadcasts of live events so that even "live" events aren't really live on TV anymore.
So we, as performers, as opera performers, have a problem: How to keep the attention of a public that sees ADHD manifestations to be at epidemic proportions alert and entertained for at least 2½ hours or more. Maybe we should only wear costumes of bright primary colors. Maybe we should learn staging that would exhaust Carroll Freeman. Maybe we should forego paying the big bucks for quality principals and focus on gee-whiz sets that are so complex they would give Bill Cheverton a migraine. (As a tech-lover, I have to say that all the stuff that the Zurich Opera's set does--from escalators and elevators to rotating scenes and opening scenery--would certainly keep me entertained.)
Or maybe we should try what Brian is doing by showing Pag alone, with no Cav next year: do really, really short operas. Menotti and Barber would love that; Phillip Glass wouldn't. Or, what about this? Do a Peter Jackson and chop long operas into originals and sequels. Will Scarpia rape Tosca? Will Rudolfo and Mimi live happily ever after? Look for Tosca II and Boheme: The Winter Comes in February!
Hey! I might have something there! People throw their whole lives away to watch the entire series of American Idol. They'll put off major surgeries, schedule early birthing, and tell the boss wanting them to work over on a project where to go. (I wonder if Don would admit that some chorister had turned him down because they just had to watch Idol lol!) And if we picked the right operas, we might be able to go through a whole season with just one, uhh... "production"? Save money on sets, costumes, and other things.
Or, perhaps, we should all pay our dues and join the local chapter of the Society for Creative Anachronism.
"Who are you?"
"A twelfth-century North Umberland knight. What are you?"
"A seventeenth-century French opera singer."
"Dude, how esoteric!"
Oh well, in ZO's defense, they did pick da man to conduct. William Christie is a great early music conductor. I've got some Rameau choral stuff that just rocks! thanks to him. And, who knows, maybe the Met will someday "resurrect the seminal and wildly successful Zurich Opera production of Rinaldo from the mid-2000s."
In the meantime, Don, do you know where Brian can get a giant inflatable T. Rex for the opening scene of Rigoletto?
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